This week is Breastfeeding Awareness Week which a great thing, mums and mums to be need to know there is support and advice out there for them. However when I see the tweets and the FB statuses about it all it does is remind me that I couldn’t breastfeed my children and its makes me feel sad and guilty.
I have written previously about my experience with my girls. Neither of them would breastfeed, I expressed as long I could so they they both have some breastmilk. I know I did my best but it still doesn’t stop me feeling guilty that I couldn’t last longer or maybe tried harder to get them to fed from me.
Sometimes the guilt all but eats me alive. Then I get angry that twice I failed to breastfeed my daughters. I find myself defending myself for formula feeding them, even at times when it’s not necessary. I feel people are judging me, my guilt making me paranoid.
I try to bury these feelings but every now and then they rear their ugly heads.
Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing but not everyone can do it whether that is physical or mental reason. I find we are spilt into two camps ready to battle when it shouldn’t be like that. We are mothers and should be supporting each other no matter what.
I take comfort in the fact that I have two happy and healthy girls, even if I couldn’t breastfeed them.
Doesn’t stop me feeling a bit sad this week.